On Mission Read online

  This was war.

  It was inevitable that things would keep getting worse, harder, more bloody.

  We had to be ready.

  Aside from surviving the last of the jumps to Telnon, what I worried about most was Lorne. It scared me how badly he was taking the separation. I thought he’d be okay and I’d be a mess. Aside from not sleeping and not being able to eat much, I was doing okay. But he was for sure a mess.

  “Hello?” Roan waved the tablet in my face. “Are we still even doing this?”

  “Do we have to?” Because I didn’t want to study anymore. I was tired, and a nap sounded pretty freaking fantastic.

  “I’m not the one that agreed to become High Queen.” He sounded irritated.

  I snickered a little laugh because the exhaustion was making me a little mean. Roan was usually chill and happy, but these days, he was always typing on his tablet.

  “It’s not funny. This is stressful, and—” His tablet dinged for the thirteenth time in the last ten minutes. “Wait. Have to answer this one.”

  Maybe he wouldn’t be so grumpy if he hired someone to help him. “Did you like any of the applicants?”

  “Two were okay. I figure I’ll meet them in person when we get back to Sel’Ani. I can’t quite get a good feel on-screen and…” He trailed off and started typing.

  Roan should just hire someone already, but he was being stubborn and not listening to me.

  Whatever. He could do what he wanted, but I didn’t expect him to work himself to the bone being my assistant. I never took him to be a control freak, but it turned out he was a complete mega control freak.

  I cupped the mug of wyso in my hands while I watched him type, letting the warmth from it seep into my skin, and leaned back in my chair. The dining hall was a place where people ended up not just eating, but hanging out. There were a few large round tables and more smaller ones sprinkled throughout the room. The tables weren’t metal, but some sort of lightweight wood. Instead of benches, there were actual chairs that had some soft cushion built into them. There was a fountain that dropped into rocks along the back wall, giving the room a calming feel.

  A massive port window took up the wall opposite the fountain, and I found it really soothing to watch the stars and planets rush past. Sometimes we’d slow and I could make out some of the planets we passed. Or we’d jump and the view outside would quickly flash from one thing to another. And other times, the window would darken to protect our eyes when we got too close to a star. It all depended on the route, but mostly it was a beautiful dreamy scene that I could spend hours watching.

  The dining hall also had a wall of fridges and freezers and a machine that somehow magicked food together, but during regular mealtimes, there was a full kitchen crew feeding everyone. Right now it was mostly empty except for us and a table of three of my guards on the other side of the room. They knew better than to be around when Roan was quizzing me. It made me grumpy.

  “Amihanna.” Roan tapped the tablet, drawing my attention away from watching out the window. “Who is this and what planet are they from?”

  We were back to this again? I thought he was answering messages.

  I loved Roan, but he was one pop quiz away from being ejected out an airlock.

  I placed the mug on the table to keep from throwing it at him. “Can you please stop with the quiz? I’m too tired.”

  “I can’t. It’s important.” He placed the tablet on the table between us. “Can I be honest with you?”

  I rested my forehead on the table. “When have you been anything but?”

  “Your poker face is space trash these days.”

  I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Putting my head down had been a mistake. I’d almost fallen asleep, and I needed to stay awake. I couldn’t take anymore nightmares, but I might have to cave soon and—

  Wait. Space trash? Did Roan actually say that? “What are you talking about? I stayed alive on Earth for thirteen years because I’m amazing at acting natural and chill and like I completely belonged when the truth was anything but. If I wasn’t amazing at it, I’d be dead.”

  “You’ve changed.” Roan leaned back in his chair. “You’ve gotten comfortable.”

  I raised a brow at that. “Bullshit.” What was this? First my father called me comfortable for training in the gym. Now I’m too comfortable and getting lazy in my reactions.

  Anger chased away my exhaustion. He had to be joking right now. I wasn’t comfortable. I’d accepted a position I had no business accepting, and no part of that responsibility felt freaking comfortable. “I’ve had how many assassination attempts? I’m traveling how far to meet with allies I don’t know? And I’m going to be High Queen in a few weeks. Tell me how any of that’s comfortable.”

  “Sure. I get your point. And you’ve handled all of that really well, and I disagree with your father. He had some other shit on his mind, and I think your time in the gym is well spent and you’re doing plenty to push yourself. It was poor choice of words on my end. I didn’t realize your dad got under your skin like that. But that’s not what I was talking about.”

  I blew out breath, trying to get my anger in check. “Okay. What are you talking about?”

  “Now that you’re not hiding, you’re not hiding anything. You’re not concealing your emotions anymore, and when you’re about to deal with a bunch of allies who may or may not hate you, I think that’s dangerous.”

  Was he right? Roan wouldn’t lie to me. I knew that much. And I also knew he wasn’t trying to be an asshole.

  I thought back to my words and actions over the last few weeks.

  Yes. Damn it. Yes, he was right. “I didn’t—”

  The lights in the room dimmed and brightened. Then immediately dimmed and brightened again.

  We were about to jump. Again.

  I braced for it, gripping the table edge with both hands so that I had something real to hold on to.

  The whole center of my body tingled and grew numb as if an invisible hand reached inside me. And then everything went dark for a split second and I was jerked back by the invisible hand on my soul, slamming me into the back of my chair.

  The whole sensation lasted a fraction of a second—long enough for me to feel it, but short enough that I’d thought I’d imagined it the first few jumps.

  This one felt worse than the last million jumps, and man, I wished Lorne was here so that I could sleep again.

  “You okay?” Roan reached across the table, placing his hand on top of mine.

  I took a slow breath to relax my grip on the table, and then slid my hand out from under his. “I’ll be fine.”

  It’d taken a day of jumps before I’d asked Eshrin about what I was feeling when we leaped across a wide swath of the galaxy in one go. He told me that the weight of a jump on an Aunare is dependent on their power level. Less power meant that the person felt less of a drain as we jumped through space. Although he wasn’t sure why it was affecting me so strongly. It should’ve been an annoyance, but traveling like this was draining me dry.

  Jumping across the universe was still better than being frozen in a cryopod for weeks, but it wasn’t exactly fun either. Since the jumps happened at all hours, it was nearly impossible to sleep.

  The nightmares also weren’t helping with that. They were back and worse than before. I figured it was partly being separated from Lorne, and the other part was that I was anticipating a fight. It felt like it was brewing.

  That was stupid. We were at war. Of course a fight was brewing. But it didn’t feel far off and distant. It felt soon.

  One more day of travel.

  Then Telnon.

  And then… Who knew what might happen? I’d never been to a meeting of allies. I’d never done anything like this, and I had no idea what I should expect.

  “How many more jumps to Telnon?”

  “I think just like five or six more.” Roan checked his tablet, tapping through some menus before nodding. “Six. We have a break for the nex
t four hours or so. Want me to go back to your room with you? Maybe you’ll sleep better if I’m with you.”

  I’d been refusing him the last few nights, but Lorne kept telling me that Roan might help. His frequency wasn’t exactly the same as Lorne’s, but it could be close enough to help.

  But if it didn’t work and I had a nightmare, I might cry.

  I really, really didn’t want to cry. Especially not with Roan—who would get super awkward about it. He didn’t do tears well. Or more accurately, he didn’t do my tears well.

  I grabbed my mug and drank another sip of wyso. It was like coffee and chocolate had a baby, and at this point, I was a full-on addict. It was the only thing keeping me going.

  “I’m ready to not be moving anymore.” I wrapped my hands around the warm mug. I usually liked my wyso cold, but no matter what I did, I was always freezing in this ship. “It’s still better than when I was stuck in that stupid cryopod.” A few weeks in there felt like years, especially with all the drugs they’d pumped into my system and no way to tell time. “But jumping is wiping me out.”

  Roan got up and went to the section of a fridge that was marked specifically for me, grabbing one of the smoothies that Plarsha made for the trip. She apparently remembered that this way of travel was hard on me as a child, and assumed it would still be true. She’d stocked the ship’s fridge before we left and put a big, embarrassing sign on that shelf so that no one would drink the shakes.

  They were good and I liked them, but after downing about five or six a day for the last two and a half days, the idea of having one more held exactly zero appeal.

  I set down my yummy wyso and took the shake from Roan.

  I stared at it for a second before actually taking a sip.

  As soon as I did, Roan grabbed something else out of the fridge. He slid a piece of cake across the table. “Eat this, too. The flour is loaded with protein. Nori made it for you, but she said to wait until you really needed it.”

  “Why wait?”

  “Because it’s really filling and not super nutritious. She said it was better if you ate actual food. But if you refused food and were looking like you were dropping weight…” He sighed. “You need to eat. Lorne’s going to be so pissed at me. I can’t believe I’ve gone along with your stupid lies.”

  I wasn’t going to argue about that. I was pretty shocked he was going along with it, too. And Lorne was going to be beyond mad.

  Instead, I stared at the cake. Anything Nori made was amazing. Everyone knew that. “You could’ve given this to me days ago.”

  “Babe. It’s only been two and a half days.”

  “Feels like a lot longer,” I muttered to myself, but I took a bite and groaned with happiness. The cake was soft and moist and sweet with a hint of citrus tang. I licked the fork clean and then went in for another bite. I wanted to inhale the whole piece, but forced myself to savor it. Each bite seemed to settle my stomach a little more than the one before. This was exactly what I needed.

  Roan’s tablet beeped again, and I paused mid-chew. “Lorne?”

  He shook his head. “You’re pathetic.”

  I pouted, and he laughed like I wanted him to.

  His tablet dinged again and then another time. “Who is it?” All the dinging sounded important.

  “I don’t know. Doesn’t say.” A crease formed between his eyes as he studied the screen. “Actually, I think it might be a message from Earth.”

  I sat straighter. “Really?”

  “Yeah, but it’s coded.”

  “Well, uncode it.”

  “Decode, Am. Decode. And I’m trying.”

  “I’m tired,” I said in my defense, but Roan wasn’t paying attention to me anymore.

  I sat there, staring at him. Waiting. Watching. We hadn’t heard anything from Earth in forever, and I was worried something had happened to Ahiga. To Declan. To my Crew.

  I wondered if what I’d said in the interview had caused them any trouble. I hadn’t thought about that side of it until Roan mentioned that there might be blowback in Albuquerque because I’d said the Crew had my back. I’d been worried since then.

  “Stop that.”

  “What?” I asked. I literally wasn’t doing anything.

  “Stop tapping your fingers on the table. It’s annoying, and I can’t concentrate.”

  I froze and looked down at my hand. I hadn’t even been aware that I was tapping my fingers on the table.

  Roan set down his tablet.

  “What does it say?”

  “Leave.”

  “What? It says leave? Leave the ship? Leave this part of space? What the hell does that mean?”

  “No. I want you to leave this room.”

  He did?

  Man, I was tired.

  “I can’t think with you staring at me and tapping and… Just get out so I can figure this out. I’ll come find you when I do, but maybe think about a nap. You’re getting loopy.”

  I wasn’t upset or hurt by his sharp tone. I knew he wanted to uncode—decode, whatever—as much as I did. He needed quiet and space, and that didn’t happen often. So, I picked up my smoothie and cake. I started to go to the door, but paused and looked back at him. “You’ll find me as soon as you have information?”

  The stiffness in his spine relaxed a little. “Soon as. But you gotta go, babe.”

  “Cool. I’m going to go find Eshrin,” I said, but he wasn’t looking at me anymore. He was staring at his tablet again.

  I was almost to the door when I remembered and winced. “I’m going to Eshrin on the bridge,” I yelled back to my small table of guards. I’d been trying to do better about letting them know where I was and what I was doing. That way they could start to understand my motives and anticipate what I might do in a fight.

  One of them—Coniu—held out a hand, fingers spread, and circled it. They were going to stay put. He closed his hand, and put out a pointer finger, jabbing it up twice. He’d let Eshrin know.

  Since I didn’t have a free hand, I lifted my smoothie in the air and shook it twice—okay.

  They’d been working on teaching me all of the Aunare one-hand signals—which was way more than the ten SpaceTech used. They thought it might come in handy and had taken to using them every chance they got. Even for things that could be said quicker with words.

  I ate my cake as I made my way across the giant warship—two lifts, one moving walkway, and two security checks—to arrive on the bridge. No ship ever needed to be this big, but apparently, my father disagreed. This warship was one of those he’d had designed and built.

  The giant airlock door to the bridge hissed as the seal broke, and then it slid open.

  The bridge on this ship put anything I’d ever seen to shame. There was a two-story vidscreen along the far wall, with a star map and all kinds of readouts in Aunare that I didn’t understand. Little bits of information were on the bottom right corner, one in red, one in blue, and one in purple. I’d found out that those were the three convoys’ routes to Telnon.

  The rest of the bridge was long and arched with work stations facing the room. There were ten levels of stations that arched in the same way to get to the bottom of the two-story vidscreen. The middle row was bigger than the rest. That was where the three pilots, two copilots, and head navigators worked. It also happened to be where Eshrin was sitting in one of the chairs off to the side, used for whatever head military personnel were on board.

  I made my way down and took the chair beside him. “What’s up?” I took the last bite of my cake, washing it down with a big sip of smoothie.

  He gave me side eye. “Where’s Roan?”

  “He’s not my keeper.” Why were my guards asking that all the time?

  “Hmm.”

  Was he serious with this? “I’m the future queen person here. I can do what I want.”

  His smile started to peek out. “Future queen person? You sure about that title?”

  “Shut up.”

  Something ab
out Komae—his best friend and second in command—betraying us cemented my friendship with Eshrin. It also helped that he was always around and had a sharp sense of humor that seemed to compliment mine just fine.

  He pointed at the shake. “Jumps still getting to you?”

  “Yes, but there’s only six more, right?”

  He winced.

  “No.” I put the shake down on the table before I dropped it. “No. Roan said six. He said we had a four-hour break.”

  “We’re going to need nine more,” a voice came from behind me.

  I turned to see Captain Tyan ni Basl, the head pilot. The older man kept his black hair shorn, which made him stand out against the other Aunare. I’d asked him why, and he said that when he was flying, he had to be ready at any moment, even during the five hours a day he wasn’t actively on duty. Which meant some days—depending on the route and any possible danger—he couldn’t afford the time to take a shower, let alone attempt some of the more intricate braids the Aunare loved so much.

  Shower or no, he always looked clean and put together in my father’s house sigil, a blue shirt with a blue raven on the breast. Tyan had the tall, lean look of the Aunare. His skin was a few shades darker than mine, and his eyes were a mesmerizing golden color.

  Tyan would know best how many jumps we had left, but something had changed. Roan said six jumps. I was tired, but not so tired that I’d mix that up.

  The only reason we’d change routes is because SpaceTech was on to us. “What’s happening?”

  Tyan put an image on the view screen. “These ships followed us through the last jump, which doesn’t make anyone in this room happy.”

  “Who are they?”

  “We’re not sure who they are, but they’re not Aunare or SpaceTech. We’ve confirmed that much. I don’t want to give them a chance to get closer to us. Not given the current situation with our allies.”

  “How would they have found us? No one knows our route.”

  “Unless we have a traitor,” Eshrin said.