Alpha Divided (Alpha Girl Book 3) Read online

  What’s going on? Where are you going? Are you okay? Damn it! Answer me! Dastien said in a rush, not letting me get a word in.

  Calm down. I’m fine. I’m going to Rosa’s.

  I’m on my way.

  You can’t. We’re not supposed to have any contact. I’m here for a reason and I don’t want to fuck it up.

  He was quiet for a long time, but I could feel him there with me. His longing and pain. He was sad. Depressed. It made me rethink this whole staying apart. I was here for a reason, but was it really worth the cost?

  Dastien wasn’t in the cage anymore, but I barely had to touch the bond to sense he wasn’t doing well. His hunger gnawed at me.

  Are you eating? It was my turn to ask the question.

  I miss you.

  I guessed that was answer enough. Me too.

  I took a turn a little too fast, and everyone in the car reached for the oh-shit bar.

  Careful, cherie.

  I got it. I got it. I just couldn’t help it if I was more than a little anxious to get to Rosa’s. I wanted answers, fast. It was one thing to know that Dastien wasn’t doing well. It was another to feel it. I had to wrap this up before my mate lost it.

  Hey. Why don’t you go see what’s in the cafeteria? I’m sure there’s something really good.

  I know what you’re doing. I’m okay. I’m heading that way. I just didn’t eat enough while I was in the cages.

  But you’re doing okay now?

  I’m doing better. I’ll be fine. Just get what you need done, and come back to me.

  Okay.

  I wanted to be there for him, but I couldn’t be. Instead of turning straight toward St. Ailbe’s like I wanted, I started down the road toward Austin. The car was a little too quiet, so I turned on the music.

  “What’s this? Above and Beyond?” Daniel said from the back seat.

  I looked in the review mirror. He was smiling, and seemed to actually be enjoying it. “Yeah. How’d you know?”

  “I download their podcast every week. Makes for a good Friday, you know?”

  “Yeah.” I glanced back at him again before focusing back on the road. “I know exactly what you mean.” I just didn’t expect him to feel the same way I did.

  It made me wonder, if things had been different and Dastien didn’t exist, would I have given him a shot? He wasn’t a bad guy. He’d been really nice when explaining all of the magic stuff, and as much as I wanted to hate him, I didn’t. I’d actually had fun with him.

  Tessa. Dastien’s warning growl came through the bond.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. I was just wondering. But that didn’t happen—you exist. So it’s a moot point. Don’t get upset.

  Don’t make me come over there.

  Don’t threaten me with a good time.

  He laughed and it made me smile. For a second, I felt okay. I could get this all figured out.

  I turned up the music and pressed on the accelerator, passing a few cars in the process.

  As soon as I got to Rosa’s, I’d have some answers.

  This might all work out.

  ***

  I hopped down from the car in front of Rosa’s house. Her flowers were still bright and blooming. Her happy plants made me wish I knew how to garden. Mom had given me an orchid once and I’d killed it dead in days. Needless to say, me and plants were not a good combo.

  The door swung open before I reached the porch.

  “I didn’t think I’d see you quite so soon, but welcome, mijita. And I see you’ve brought some others.”

  “Yes. I hope that’s all right.”

  “Of course. Come in. Come in.” She stepped away from the door, motioning us in. “Claudia. It’s been too long.” She embraced her, muttering endearments in Spanish. She did the same with Raphael.

  When she turned to Daniel, she paused, grabbing his hands. “I’m glad your mother hasn’t influenced you.”

  Daniel sighed. “She is who she is.”

  “Yes. And you’re not responsible for that. She’s been going down this road since long before you were born. Don’t take it on yourself.”

  Daniel blinked a few times, and nodded.

  I turned away, wanting to give him privacy as Rosa pulled him into an embrace.

  “Can I get anyone something to drink? Eat?” Rosa said as she closed the door behind us.

  The most delicious scent hit me as I walked inside. My stomach growled. Even with all the extra food Mom had brought, I wasn’t eating enough. It was so much easier to eat more when it was just sitting there for me. “Whatever you’re making, I’ll take it.”

  “You caught me at a good time. I just finished a batch of tamales.”

  Oh my God. Mom never made Grams’ tamales. She said they took too long, but they were my favorite. No one made them like her. Chances were good that Rosa used the same recipe.

  I walked into the kitchen. There were three plates filled with the corn-husk-wrapped goodness. I piled a clean plate high and started digging in. As I bit into the second one, I felt a little funny. I looked up from the plate to see everyone chatting in the living room, but it was like I wasn’t there anymore. The only one who saw me was Rosa.

  Suddenly the afternoon was flying by. It was like everyone was moving really fast, and I was slow. Barely moving. Like watching a movie on fast-forward. I felt like I was totally out of my own body. I took a step and the world tilted.

  I was going to be sick.

  I stumbled my way to the bathroom, barely making it in time before I started booting. My sides ached. Cold sweat ran down my skin.

  Christ. I thought Weres didn’t get sick. What was wrong with me? Something wasn’t right.

  I lifted my head from the toilet and I was suddenly back in the kitchen.

  I’d had a vision. Of the future.

  I dropped the fork and stepped back from the plate on the counter. “What the hell is in these tamales, Rosa?”

  Rosa had that same observant look. “I may have put a little poison in them. Bad stuff. Enough to incapacitate a Were.”

  “What! Why would you do that and then offer them to me?” Had she lost her mind?

  “Really, tia. What if one of us ate one?” Claudia said.

  “If you had asked for one, I would’ve given you one that wouldn’t make you sick.” She gave a raspy laugh. “I wouldn’t go to all that trouble only to throw them all away. Tamales are hard to make. But I had to show Teresa how her gift worked.”

  She could’ve done that without making me live through the experience of puking up tamales. And I didn’t see how making me sick would spark a vision. “I didn’t do anything but try to eat a tamale. Isn’t there some way that I can trigger visions when I actually want them? I need to figure out what Luciana is planning and why Rupert Hoel is hanging around.”

  “There’s no controlling what you have. You have to trust that it’s there to guide you when you need it.”

  I’d never considered myself an atheist. Mom had dragged me to church often enough that I believed in God. But in that moment, when I had to really trust that some higher power would give me a vision when I needed it, I wasn’t sure I had enough faith. “So, I really can’t do anything to spur them on?”

  “No. I wish I could help you, but they come when they come.” She shrugged, and put on the glasses that hung around her neck. “As for the tamales, estos son muy bueno.” She grabbed the smaller plate. “Pero estos…no.” She upended the pile into the trash.

  “Man, what a waste,” Raphael said.

  “I proved my point. It wasn’t a waste.” She walked into the living room and I followed her. “The visions will never be what you want—completely controllable—but we can get to a place where you sense a vision coming on. That hint of a premonition can tell you if you’re making a wrong choice.”

  “You mean I need to trust my gut.” That’s what Grams had said in her note. I’d been hoping for more, but maybe that was as good as it got.

  “Yeah,” Dani
el said as he stepped into the living room. “That’s not what I was taught at all. Mom’s always said they were controllable.”

  “And you think your mother would really tell you the truth?”

  Daniel looked at the ground and I felt sad for him. He hadn’t chosen to be born to her. It must be awful.

  “I wanted you to come here so that you’d know that the magic you’re trying to do is inside you,” Rosa said to me. “You don’t need all the trappings. Especially now that you’re wolf as well as witch.” She looked at the other three brujas. “For that matter, none of you need all the trappings, but that’s something that Luciana and I always disagreed on. It’s one of the many reasons why I left.”

  Raphael leaned against the wall. “I thought you left because you lost your powers.”

  Rosa murmured a quick prayer in Spanish. “No. That’s not true. Luciana tried to take my abilities. That’s when my sister, your abuela, left to go stay with Tessa’s mother.” She wheezed a breath that was so shaky it made my lungs ache in sympathy, and turned to me. “When you were born, Tessa, my sister named you heir, and then kept you safe. Apart. You had to be strong before you came back or Luciana would try the same with you.”

  I knew most of that, except for the whole magic-stealing part. That sounded really bad. I didn’t even know it was possible. “How can she take power from someone else?”

  “Not easily, mijita. Not very easily.” Rosa patted the cushion next to her, and I sat. “Now I have a question for you.”

  It seemed only fair. “Sure.”

  “What did you think when you saw Dastien for the first time?”

  “Mine.” The word was out of my mouth before I could think about it too much. Sure, that was what I thought now, but was it really what I’d thought when I first saw him?

  That day, I’d definitely had the feeling that my life was about to change. When I saw him, it wasn’t like he was a stranger. It was like I already knew him. And I didn’t want to be apart from him. I wanted him to be mine.

  “You really thought that when you saw him?” Daniel asked.

  I shrugged. “Yeah. I guess I did.”

  “Wow,” Claudia said. “The coven always sets up matches seen in future visions. You were supposed to be with Daniel. That’s why we were so surprised when you were bitten. Why so many are eager to follow Luciana in the fight to get you back. We all thought that you’d gone off the intended path.” She sat in the blue velvet chair across the room from Daniel. “This gives me so much hope. Maybe I don’t have to be with…”

  I wanted to ask Claudia who she was supposed to be with and why she didn’t want that, but Rosa grasped my hand as she lowered her glasses. “Just like you knew with Dastien. Like you knew with the tamales. The visions will come when they will. They’ll show you what you need when you’re off the path, but by the time you see them, it might be too late to change the outcome.” She relaxed back against the couch. “As the pack and the coven fight and the humans become aware of us all—you will have to play a careful balancing act. You are unique in that you’re not just human or Were or bruja, but all three. You will be the touchstone for many.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut. “I don’t want that much power.”

  “Fighting your destiny will only cause discord for everyone.” She cupped my cheek and I met her gaze. “Mijita. This is in your hands. You can choose to remain stubborn and resist or surrender to your gifts and move forward. You decide.”

  “I’m not even a very good witch. I can’t do the most basic things. Are you sure I’m the one?”

  “I’m very sure. So was your Grams.” Rosa turned to Daniel. “What were you teaching her?”

  “We started with knots and a basic protection spell. Every glass that she tried it on turned to dust. Not just broken or shattered, but a fine powder.”

  “And what were you thinking as you were doing this?”

  I shrugged. “Don’t break.”

  “Aye. See. There is your mistake. You think ‘don’t break,’ and your mind focused on the breaking part. Try again, only this time, believe that the glass will be muy duro. Uno momento.” Rosa got up and went to the kitchen. A few minutes later she came back carrying a crystal goblet. “This belonged to my abuela. It’s one of the only things I have of hers. You will make it strong. And then you will see.”

  I leaned away as she tried to hand it to me. “No. No way. I destroyed a whole box of glasses. No way am trying it with something so valuable to you.”

  “If there is no risk involved, you won’t try your best. I won’t hate you if you break it, but I will be sad.” She held the glass out to me. “You will do this thing. You will believe in yourself. And I will be proven right.” She poked a finger at her heart. “I know it here. I feel that it’s true. So much so that there can be nothing else that happens.”

  This all sounded nuts. That said, she’d been right about how to break the curse on Meredith. It’d taken me a bit to understand what Rosa meant for me to do. I hadn’t quite gotten it at first, but I figured it out eventually. I had to believe that this time would be the same.

  I took the goblet. Intricate etchings ran along the outside of the cup and the stem was delicate and diamond shaped. I was afraid I was going to break it just from holding it too hard. I ran my finger along the top of the glass and it rang. I couldn’t resist it, so I gave it a gentle flick.

  A beautiful ring sounded. “This is real crystal.”

  “Yes. It’s old and lovely. Make it strong.”

  I gingerly placed it on the table and wiped my hands on my jeans. “All right. Here goes nothing.” I reached closer and began tracing the knot.

  “Stop.”

  I looked up at her. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “That—” Rosa motioned a finger in a knot-like way. “Is just the trappings of the coven. It can mean something if you need help, but the magic comes from what’s inside. You do what you need to do to make it feel real. It could be a knot. It could be words that rhyme. The most powerful brujas I ever met didn’t need anything at all.”

  Right. Because that wasn’t intimidating at all. “Okay.” I stared down at the fragile goblet. I closed my eyes, and instead of picturing crystal, I pictured steel. It was hard. Unbreakable.

  Strong. Strong like steel. Strong like diamonds. I listed everything hard I could think of as I pictured the goblet in my mind. I willed it to be unbreakable with everything I had.

  “Okay,” I said. “I tried my best.”

  “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Daniel laughed at his own joke.

  “Shut up,” Claudia said.

  “Oh, man. This could go south so fast,” Raphael said. He’d finally left his post by the door, and came closer to see what would happen.

  “Be quiet. She did fine. I know she did it,” Claudia said as she stepped beside her brother.

  I swallowed. That was a whole lot of pressure for one old lady to put on me. My hand shook as I handed Rosa the glass.

  She moved to slam it against the coffee table, and I grabbed her arm. “Wait. Just wait. What if it breaks? I really did try, but I’ve fucked this up a lot and this seems to be a big deal to you and I’d really hate to—”

  Rosa yanked away and slammed the goblet against the wood without breaking eye contact with me. Instead of a crash, the lovely ring of crystal sounded.

  “Holy shit.” It felt like it took my heart a second for it to start beating again. “I totally thought it was going to break.”

  “You need to have more faith in yourself. Even with everything you’ve accomplished in so little time, you doubt yourself. It will be your undoing. Try to manage that.”

  I nodded more absently than out of agreement. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  You okay? Dastien said through the bond.

  Yeah. Some days things happen that are so weird, you know? And all you can think is, did that really just happen? Fuck. My heart was still beating like crazy. It would’ve really sucked if I’d b
roken my great-great-grandmother’s glass. Whenever I feel like I have a handle on something, it goes sideways and I lose my grip. How do you get used to it?

  You’re asking the guy who just spent the week in the feral cages because he couldn’t keep it together?

  I laughed, not caring if everyone in the room thought I was crazy. We’re the picture of the most put together couple ever.

  Cherie. There was a little bit of pleading in his tone.

  I sighed. I just wish I knew what I was supposed to do. Everything’s a mess. I’m not where I want to be—even physically.

  You’ll be okay. And if you aren’t, I’ll be right there with you. We’re a team, remember? For good and bad.

  I blinked my eyes, trying to keep any tears away.

  If I was supposed to be the touchstone for everyone else, then Dastien was for sure my touchstone. And now… “Okay. So, I trust my gut. That’s about all I can do.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Right.” That was so not reassuring. It was just a catchphrase people used when they had nothing useful or constructive to say. Except that Rosa was trying to be useful.

  But it couldn’t be that easy. Life didn’t always work out as planned. No matter how badly I wanted it.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I spent the rest of the afternoon at Rosa’s as she tried to hammer in the lesson she wanted me to learn. We all ate tamales, and no one got sick, so that was worth it, but it’d be a while before I trusted her cooking again. The lady was a little nuts.

  Then sun was just about to set we got back to the compound.

  Driving through the gates. I warned Dastien.

  Okay. Be safe.

  I will. No more hiding as a wolf in the cages. And find out what the Hoels are up to. There’s too much bad shit going on around them.

  I’m already on it.

  Good. I love you.

  Je t’aime, cherie.

  With the clunk of the tires over the cattle guard, the bond shut down. It took my breath away, and I ached to turn the car around. I found a spot to park in front of the house, and noticed a figure sitting on the top step.