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  “That makes sense. SpaceTech absolutely would have tested these weapons somewhere. There have to be samples of it that they’ve handed out to specific buyers. If we can get one of them, then we can have them immediately sent to the lab ship and studied.”

  Lorne relaxed against the back of the couch. “I can’t believe I destroyed the gun that woman was holding.”

  “Don’t. You can’t start with that. You were trying to save my life.”

  He looked at me, and his eyes were filled with guilt. “I wasn’t fast enough.” I started to argue, but he shook his head. “The other spy had a bomb, but you destroyed that one. The rest of the spies had normal Earther weapons. Nothing with lucole. It’s almost as if they planned it that way. Tease us with what they were capable of, yet leave us with nothing to go on.”

  My skin slowly stopped flashing, and I slid off Lorne’s lap to sit beside him. “What about the spies you interrogated?” I asked my father, who was sitting on the ottoman facing us. “What did they know?”

  “Absolutely nothing.” He looked exhausted and disappointed. “They were just SpaceTech’s chattel, sent here to die trying to take out either of you.”

  “That feels like a classic SpaceTech move.” I wondered what they had in store for the meeting because there was no way they didn’t have a plan or three.

  “The lucole poison scares me,” Lorne said. “We knew they were experimenting with it, but now… I don’t like what it did to you at the market.”

  “I didn’t like it much either.” I knew it’d scared Lorne, but it’d scared me just as much. I was still feeling drained from the ordeal, and I wondered if it was a lingering effect from the poison. Every test they ran came up clear, so I probably just needed a little more rest.

  Except with everything going on, I wasn’t sure I’d get any rest.

  “The Yhona have chosen their home planet, Telnon, as the meeting spot,” my father said. “You’ll remember that the Yhona are—”

  “—neutral in all things.” Despite having a block on learning the Aunare language, I was doing just fine learning about all the alien races. “Makes sense that we’d go there.”

  For any other reason, I might have been excited to see a new place, but this was going to be nothing but a frustrating and aggravating lesson in patience. I wasn’t great at politics, but I wanted to know more about these weapons.

  My father grunted. “Indeed. We’re negotiating numbers and weapons right now. The three of us will take separate ships. Each with their own team and convoy. The good news is that our ships are faster, and as of our latest intel, SpaceTech does not have the capability to hide their movements through the galaxy. We can avoid them easily because they’ll be detectable light-years before they’re able to attack one of our ships.”

  “Okay.” That sounded reasonable. We were making the right choices for the Aunare, but it still felt like a trap. We’d have to be on alert at all times. “When do we leave?”

  “Tomorrow. The meeting is in four days.” He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “It’ll take that long to get to Telnon.”

  “And we’ll be traveling separately in case any of our ships are attacked?” I hated it. I really, really hated it. It seemed so stupid because if Lorne or I got hurt in the travel, neither of us would be okay.

  “Exactly,” my father said.

  “Tomorrow, we will go to our allies, but I think my goal with them has changed.” Lorne looked as if he were thinking through every word.

  My father straightened. “What’s your goal? How can we help achieve it?”

  I twisted on the couch so that I could see Lorne sitting next to me. He was staring off into the distance as if he were thinking hard about how to answer.

  “I would like to have their support, but the most important thing now is more information on lucole, and if possible, some samples of their weapons so that Audrey and the rest at the lab can start working on antidotes.” He finally looked at my father. “I didn’t enjoy seeing what the tiniest bit of poison did to my future High Queen, and we don’t know what else they’ve come up with. We know they’ve made explosives and poison. What if they combine the two? How many Aunare could they wipe out?”

  That was a truly terrifying thought. Which meant we had to find out more, and if our allies were asking to finally meet with us and Lorne thought they might give us information on lucole, then we had to go. “What do we need to do before we leave?” I was sure there had to be a list of names and key players to learn, probably a strategy session or something that would take all night. Just thinking about it made me want to take a nap.

  My father slapped his hands on his thighs and then rose from the ottoman. “Why don’t you both take a moment to catch your breath?”

  Wait. Was he serious?

  My father let out a short, sharp laugh at whatever look was on my face. “We can’t afford for both of you to lose your tempers. I see it in you and Lorne is nearly past the edge. One wrong word and he’ll be…” My father pointed down at my wrists. “You already need to switch bracelets.”

  I glanced down. He was right. I unhooked them, placing them on the couch beside me.

  “Those can quickly become a crutch.” My father pressed his lips together, staring at the bracelets before looking at me again. “Hopefully, during the travel to Telnon, we can chat about how to start truly controlling what’s yours.”

  “Thank you.” I wasn’t sure when we’d have time, but I knew I had to make the time.

  “I’ll send updates as I have them, but plan to leave at sunrise.” My father pressed his fist to his heart and left the room without another word.

  I leaned back on the couch. The cushions beside me sank a bit as Lorne scooted closer to me, and his warmth seeped into my skin. I wished I could stay here forever, but tomorrow, we’d be saying goodbye.

  How was that even happening?

  The last couple of days left me feeling drained and exhausted. I went from teaching a class on a normal day, to firing the High Council, to a sudden mission at the market that ended up with me poisoned, to whatever came next.

  I was scared to ask aloud what that could be. I was scared to even think it, but it was too late for that. Because that’s all I could think about.

  He wiped a hand down his face, something he did when he was feeling especially cornered into something he didn’t like. “I know diplomacy is the right thing, but it feels wrong today,” he said after a while.

  He hadn’t said that he was having trouble processing the events of the last few days, but I knew I was. And if I was, he probably was, too.

  He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, tugging me even closer, until I was almost in his lap again.

  “Why can’t we travel together?” I asked.

  “There’s a historical tragedy that prevents it, although I don’t care about that now. After the last two days, I don’t feel right leaving your side. Seems like asking for trouble.”

  I sat there waiting for one of Lorne’s usual history lessons, but he didn’t say anything else. There was still so much I didn’t know or understand about the Aunare, and whenever there was a gap in my understanding of the Aunare, Lorne liked to fill it in. That he’d cut himself short told me that he was still as on edge as I was.

  Lorne looked at me then, and his eyes captured me. Their aquamarine color had always been a beacon of safety to me. The color was so imprinted on me that I’d painted every room I’d lived in that color. Being surrounded by it helped me sleep.

  Now, I knew it wasn’t just a color, it was the man with the aquamarine eyes. And it wasn’t just his eyes. It was his frequency that comforted me. It was his smile and his words and the feel of his lips as he brushed a kiss on my temple.

  I still wasn’t sure what I was doing agreeing to marry him or ruling by his side—both seemed slightly insane—but I knew I needed him. I knew that I wanted to be his wife, even if I didn’t feel qualified to be the High Queen. And I knew that Fynea was bus
y planning the wedding, but I didn’t care how or when it happened. I only cared that it happened. Soon, hopefully, but I was happy how we were now. The only thing I needed was more time with him.

  He’d been so busy lately, and in a weird way, I almost missed those first few weeks, back when he’d sneak into my room and take care of me and talk to me. I didn’t miss the nightmares or any of that, just him.

  I missed him whenever we weren’t together. There was this yearning for him that I didn’t think could ever be filled.

  This was love, and it was everything.

  I knew what we had to do tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I knew we were making the right choices, but I also knew where I thought the fight would go. “Promise me that if one more thing happens—if they attack one more time, no matter how small—we go to Earth. We take this to them.”

  “I promise.” His words came without hesitation. His voice was sure and confident.

  I was surprised that he’d agreed, but thankful because it meant that we were on the same page. Just as we needed to be.

  “What do we do now?” If we were really leaving tomorrow, I needed to pack, but I didn’t feel like it. Maybe I’d just bring a couple of my go-bags. I didn’t need anything more than what was in those.

  Lorne answered me by pressing his lips to mine, and it was as if a switch flipped.

  Yes, I needed him. I needed to feel him. I needed to feel that he was alive and we were okay.

  He pulled me on top of him, and I wanted more. More. More.

  I tugged at his shirt, yanking it until I heard stitching pop but I didn’t care.

  We broke apart just long enough for me to toss his shirt, but then my hands sunk into his long hair and his lips were back. And I opened, wanting more. More. More.

  We rolled off the couch, but Lorne shifted, hitting the floor first. My shoulder hit the ottoman, but I didn’t care.

  All I wanted was him.

  “I love you,” I said.

  There was a flash around us as his skin lit, but I was staring into his eyes, and I saw him. Not just Lorne, but the soul inside the man, and he was beautiful.

  He rolled me under him, and the need and the feel of his flesh against mine and the tingling of every inch of my skin made it impossible to think of anything else.

  And for a while, there was nothing but us.

  I’d never known love like this existed before Lorne, and I knew that I didn’t want this with anyone else. He was everything to me.

  Lorne glanced down at me—those aquamarine eyes filled with joy and peace. He gave me a wink that made everything inside me swell and flutter before settling down again.

  He was worth dealing with the guards, the politics, the war.

  He was worth everything.

  And if anything happened to Lorne, no one would be safe from my wrath.

  No one.

  Chapter Sixteen

  AMIHANNA

  I spent the night in Lorne’s arms. I couldn’t sleep, not even for a moment. Not because I wasn’t tired—I was. The poison was still making me feel drained. I was secretly worried that it was lingering in my veins, but I knew that Mae’ani, the pod tech, wouldn’t have let me leave the healing pod if it was.

  But what if they couldn’t detect it?

  I knew it was impossible. Audrey had all kinds of experience dealing with lucole. I was just tired because I hadn’t slept.

  But what if it wasn’t that?

  I snuggled closer to Lorne—needing to feel him—but I moved slowly, careful not to wake him. The gold and reddish hue of the twin suns peeked through the curtains, and I knew I was running out of time. Morning was here.

  I’d been curled around him the last couple of hours, comforted by his warmth and the sounds of his sleep. But now he was stirring and I knew it was going to be time to start our day, which meant we would be leaving soon. Separately.

  A small wave of panic crashed over me and I tried to shove it away. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a breath.

  Everything would be okay.

  Everything would be okay because I would make it okay.

  As if sensing that I was near a freak-out, Lorne rolled to face me, tugging me until my face was buried in his chest, and I wanted to stay there forever.

  It wasn’t that I was hiding from what was coming today, tomorrow, and all the rest of our days because I knew life was going to get hard.

  It’d already been hard. It’d been hard and dangerous and full of awful things, but I’d always faced every day head-on. I’d done what needed to be done because I’d had no choice. If I wanted to live—and I did—then I had to keep going, keep fighting, keep doing all the hard things. But recently, my life had changed. It still had hard things, but it had more and more good things. Amazing things. I’d been scared to relax into this life here at first, but I had now. Lying here in the bed, it was painfully aware to me how much I had to lose now.

  I wasn’t sure when I’d really accepted all the changes in my life, but it was little bit by little bit and then all at once.

  And now this world, this bed, this man was home.

  I’d been given a respite, and it was hard to let it go. But I would wade back into the fight, even though it was painful.

  Lorne brushed a kiss on the top of my head. “Morning. You okay?” His voice was thick with sleep.

  “Yeah. I’ll be fine.” I tried to make myself believe that we’d be okay while we travelled separately, but bad things happened when we were apart.

  This trip to Telnon seemed like a dangerous—and very possibly deadly—waste of time. I understood all the arguments about why we had to try to win our allies. I understood that we couldn’t win a war against SpaceTech and our allies, but I didn’t think showing up there would change anything.

  I also knew that, if nothing else, we had to find out more about SpaceTech’s new favorite weapon. There were so many unknowns about it, and that was dangerous. Especially when the weapon nearly killed me. We had to find out more.

  I was quiet in bed, and so was Lorne, neither of us saying much, but lost in our own thoughts and worries. I threaded my leg through his and his arms held me close. I could’ve stayed like that forever.

  When we finally got out of bed, neither of us moved to turn on the vidscreen like we normally did, neither of us ate much at breakfast—and Lorne didn’t even hassle me about it—and then, in total, somber silence, we got ready to leave.

  “Are you okay?” Lorne asked. He’d dressed in a simple pair of black pants and a crisp blue shirt that made his eyes look electric. From a hanger he grabbed a cozy gray sweater with his red firedrake over the right breast and tugged it on carefully as he walked to me.

  I stared at him, not wanting to answer the question, and ran a fingertip over the sweater. It was unbelievably soft, and I wondered where he’d been hiding it. I would’ve stolen it from him by now if I’d seen it sooner.

  “I can have one made for you,” Lorne said, essentially reading my mind. “Talk to me. You’ve been so quiet this morning and it’s scaring me and I’m already stressed about leaving you. I don’t know how to help if you won’t talk to me.”

  “You haven’t been chatting either.”

  “I know. I just have this feeling…” He trailed off, and I didn’t push him to finish.

  The truth was, I had the same feeling. Or at least a similar feeling.

  There was this churning feeling in my gut, but I wasn’t backing out, no matter how many alarms were going off in my head. This trip was too important.

  But if I was ignoring every instinct I had, then there was something I needed.

  I walked deeper inside the closet and pressed my hand against the hidden safe along the back wall, unlocking it. Inside was money, jewelry, and weapons, but none of that was what I wanted. Instead, I pulled out a backpack.

  This wasn’t just any backpack. This was my favorite go-bag. It was filled with medical supplies, different forms of currency, a smorgasbord of IDs, di
fferent disguises—clothes, makeup, hair dye, and that was only the start.

  This was the mother of all go-bags. One that Roan helped me complete and that Lorne helped me pack. I’d bought the bag a few weeks ago at Ra’mi market, and it was by far the best one I had. It seemed silly to replace all of the other bags with ones like this, but maybe I would. Eventually.

  Lorne knew exactly what was inside this go-bag, and he knew what it meant when I had it with me.

  He stood frozen, eyes locked on the bag. “You’re not okay.”

  For him, the go-bag was a symbol of my past—of me suddenly gone, constantly in danger, and never knowing if I’d return.

  For me, the go-bag meant I’d always be safe—it meant I had options, a safety net, and I could make an escape when things got really bad.

  Things only got truly awful when I didn’t have one.

  “I’m cautious.” Before I could think twice about it, I grabbed a smaller bag—the one with an Earther wrist unit inside—and shoved it into the backpack. “I don’t know if I’ll need it, but I want it.” I tugged the straps over my shoulders. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen on Telnon, and I’d rather be prepared instead of scrambling.” I messaged my guards to grab their bags, too. Roan made sure all of my guards had one. After the attack at the market, I realized why.

  I’d watched replays of the attack while I was in the pod. I’d seen my team struggling to follow me, and then moving around to protect me once they caught up. They worked together as a unit, and it was my fault that I’d been separated from them at all. I should’ve warned them about what I’d seen. I should’ve given them the signal that I was going to start running and the direction before I took off. We’d trained for it. I could’ve even given hand signals to describe the suspect.

  But I’d given them nothing. I’d left them in the dark and that meant they couldn’t do their job. That was my fault.

  I winced at all the things that’d gone wrong with that stupid mission at the market. Now that I had time to look back, I knew that those spies weren’t going anywhere. They were waiting for me. I should’ve taken the time to talk to Lorne and my father. We should’ve made sure that more teams were ready to support us.